Oh, hello there January.

Well it has been quite some time now hasn't it. October 2nd marked my last blog entry - holy smokes. I guess to say that 2014 was a great year would be a lie. If anything it was probably the most difficult year of my life - in fact, I would rather repeat my freshman year of high school then to ever repeat this past year again. I will admit that I have lost myself and can't quite seem to find who I am again.

Aside from getting into massive amounts of detail, I feel like I can't really be myself where I am. I come from a place that is very open minded. Either that or my parents and the parents of other kids in my neighborhood just raised their children right. Where I am at now, it's a bad thing to be gay. It's bad to be black. It's bad to be Hispanic. You love dogs? - you're wrong. You don't love to get hammered drunk every night? - what's wrong with you? You don't like to kill animals? - too bad because we're just going to talk your ear off of all our hunting fail/slaughter stories.

I know it's not right to judge people based on the color of someones skin, or the way someone talks or even how someone dresses. People say judging is bad, but let's face it, it's human nature, so if I am going to judge someone it's going to be based on someone's character. At one point I had just moved here and was hanging out with people I didn't know and the one girl asked some local guy at the bar why they called him lamb chops, she asked "is it because your teeth are so f***ed up?" That's rude and inconsiderate and based on that I realized I did not want to be associated with someone like that. The problem is, I can't seem to get away from it in general. Every African American is the N-word, no matter what. Every gay person is  a fag. Every woman should stay at home and clean the house, make dinner and do the laundry. Any person walking around during "business hours" is a worthless piece of sh*t. This is not 1960 anymore. Women, gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender, people with black, yellow, brown skin, heck purple skin - everyone is equal. 

There is nothing wrong with me not liking to drink beer or get drunk every weekend or spend my nights in bars. There is nothing wrong with wanting to open a business catering to pet lovers. There is nothing wrong with me being a dog lover or animal lover in general. If anything it is one of my greatest strengths. Like John Grogan said, 

"Animals lovers are a special breed of humans, generous of spirit, full of empathy, perhaps a little prone to sentimentality, and with hearts as big as a cloudless sky."

So I am constantly ready to give someone/something "more" of myself, time, money, etc. than is necessary or expected of me. I am capable of not only acknowledging someones/somethings pain or suffering but I am also understanding of it. Sometimes I act based on my emotions without reason or thought. And last but not least, I have a heart as big as a cloudless sky. I am not only capable of loving myself but I can love anything and everything around me. I won't hurt an animal or dislike them because I am "superior". I will not talk nasty about a customer because he is deaf. I will not judge someone based on the color of their skin or sexual preference. I choose to see the good in everything, everyone, and if I love it, I will love it with all my heart. Like I said, judging is human nature, so if you're going to judge someone, judge them on their character, how they treat you and the others around you... otherwise leave the rest to God. 

Sorry for the length of this post. I guess I didn't realize how much toxic and negative energy on this topic that I have kept to myself. I feel so much better getting this off my chest. Hopefully it's understandable if not eye opening to anyone dealing with a situation like this. Now that this is out of the way, let's try to make 2015 an even better year!

Taryn